My Eternal Love
by Amanda Yates
Summary: Carlisle's thoughts when he sees his love Edward dying in the hospital out of the flu, SLASH, ONESHOT!


**Hey Readers!**

**Summary: Carlisle looked at his dying love, the one boy who meant the whole world to him, the one boy who was the sun dispelling the darkness in his life, the forbidden fruit brought in front of his eyes to bring him eternal pain...**

**WARNINGS: SLASH, Carlisle/Edward, ONESHOT**

**My Eternal Love**

I don't remember how I let myself care about him and it doesn't matter bcause I know now that things will never be the same when he is gone. I do not know the exact moment I realized I loved him with all my heart, with everything I have and perhaps it was foolish of me to fall for him knowing what I am but it cannot be helped now. He is the sun in my life dispelling the darkness that threatens to engulf me, he is the forbidden fruit brought in front of my by some deity that must be mocking my existence and laughing at me right now from above, he was brought before me to bring me eternal pain.

As I sit beside him now, I remember the very day I first met him as he came in with his mother and father. I was a starved man and he was my life line, I knew when I looked into his deep emerald eyes, I had found my intended. I knew from a close observation that he was going to die as well in the end and yet I let myself get close to him dreaming of impossible futures.

We talked about his life, his dreams to become a pianist someday and about how much he loved his mother and father. I was pained to see his agony at the loss of his father and his mother. He was truly alone and vulnerable in this sodding place that reeked of death and sickness. I wondered if it would be a sin to save him, after all I have lived for two centuries without ever tasting the ambrosia of human blood, the burning thirst ever present in the back of my throat. I wondered if perhaps fate had brought him here as a gift to my endurances in my vampire life, a meaning to my existence but as I saw him open his eyes and gazed into those fierce jade eyes I knew I could never condemn him to an existence like mine. There had never been a time in my life where I longed to cry so much, I was never going to heal from the pain of loosing him.

Edward knew he was going to die sooner or later as he felt his chest tighten and ache as he tried to take breath after breath. He didn't want to die here especially in front of the man whom he loved with all his heart. He had seen the inhumanly beautiful doctor in one of the meetings his parents attended and had ever since been sinfully attracted to him. As the Spanish Influenza hit in Chicago, his father fell victim for it first and his mother followed leaving him all alone except he had Carlisle, he was afraid to show his affections to the man as he could not bear the idea of being rejected by Carlisle. He suffered in silent agony as he thought about how he would never ever be loved back by the glorious man who had come to mean so much to him in the short time they had known and seen each other. Carlisle was a great man and his eyes spoke of wisdom that was rare seen in the youth of modern days. He was a compassionate doctor always attending to his patients speaking to them and holding their hands in their deathbed. He knew that he would leave this place and his only love behind soon and he wanted desperately to confess his feelings for the blond doctor now more than ever. He opened his eyes and found the golden eyed doctor peering at him with what he thought was misery and resignation.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked in a soft voice filled with pain.

Edward saw the pain in the others face and opened his mouth to reply but only succeeded in coughing again and again as he tried to clear his airways which were stinging from the effort of breathing. His cough finally subsided and he wheezed out the word "Fine"

Suddenly Edward felt the doctors cold cold hands caressing his face and he melted into the touch. The cold was soothing to his burning skin and he sighed as he closed his eyes again. He thought about what he was going to do and an impulse of fear made him shiver as felt Carlisle's hands stroking his hair. He had to do it, no matter if Carlisle left him or worse hated him. He slowly opened his eyes again and became entranced in the amber eyes of his lover as he said "I'm always fascinated by your eyes"

Carlisle looked surprised and asked "Is that so?"

Edward nodded and said "They are of an unusual color, something I've never seen before"

"I love you Carlisle" Edward said at last hoping that the doctor had heard his quiet whisper not knowing that Carlisle had heard him clearly and the hand in his hair was pulled away.

"I'll understand if you hate me and want to leave but...I had to tell you" Edward choked out in an even quieter whisper.

Carlisle looked back at Edward in shock and put his hands on the sides of Edward's cheek cupping it as he stood and bent down against Edward looking deep into his bottomless green eyes. "I could never hate you Edward, I love you, I love you more than anything in the world, I love you like no man should another man"

Edward was shocked that Carlisle loved him just as much as he did Carlisle and it showed as the other doctor chuckled quietly. Edward began to cough again and he felt the taste of blood in his mouth and he knew that his time was running short. Carlisle stepped back and sat down on his stool as he covered his face with his hands and sobbed for the first time in a long time and Edward turned his head to look at his distraught lover as tears filled his eyes and began to spill freely.

They remained like that for a time before Edward made up his mind, he was not going to spend the last moments of his life crying, he was going to spend it with his lover, in the safety of the cold hard arms and he wheezed out "I want you to take me away from this place Carlisle"

It took Carlisle a minute to realize that his love had spoken to him and he raised his head as he asked "What?" in bewilderment.

"I want you to take me away from here, I...I...want you to make love to me tonight" Edward said as his voice shook at the end, he would be putting Carlisle in greater pain when he left but he needed this one small gift out of his life before death trapped him.

Carlisle wanted to protest but it died on his lips, he could not deny his lover anything and if Edward wanted to spend the rest of his short life in his arms, in his love who was he to deny him that comfort.

Carlisle nodded and picked Edward up as he walked in vampire pace out of the hospital not caring about the humans around him, he was in too much pain to be cautious now. Edward closed his eyes as he felt the wind hit his face and for a moment he thought he was being taken to heaven by an angel but only he didn't want to be in heaven, he wanted to be in the cold arms of his lover and he tried to struggle against the arms holding him captive but his lover's voice made him stop.

Carlisle stopped in the front of his bedroom door and said "We're here my love"

Edward opened his eyes relieved to find his lover holding him as he felt the door being kicked open and Carlisle gently placed him on the bed as the soft mattress dipped. Carlisle moved away from him and he saw the older man removing his shirt and he stared at the ghostly pale skin of his love. Carlisle quickly placed himself on top of Edward's burning skin and Edward clinked on to the cold marble skin of his lover.

Carlisle bent forward and met Edward's lips in a gentle and soothing kiss as tears sprang from Edward's eyes and Carlisle kissed them away as he caressed Edward's burning cheeks. How could he let him die, his only love, his reason for existing. He could not and then he made up his mind as he looked up and into Edward's eyes, he kissed Edward's soft burning lips again and said "I can save you love"

Edward was disoriented and gave Carlisle a confused look as he rasped out "What?"

"I can save you, I…I will save you Edward, I cannot live without you" Carlisle said as guilt already crashed against him threatening his resolve.

"Carlisle, I'm dying, I can feel it…." Edward said as he coughed, shaking slightly.

"No" Carlisle said as his eyes turned black and Edward was truly afraid at the determination shining in Carlisle's eyes as he saw the doctor shaking his head and repeating no over and over again.

Carlisle cupped the younger mans cheek and said "I will not let you die and I pray that you could forgive me when this is over my love"

"Carlisle" Edward asked unsure about what Carlisle was speaking.

"Hush my love" Carlisle said and made to remove Edward's hospital gown leaving him naked on the soft bed, Carlisle sat back and observed Edward's slender form smiling at the young boy who had a faint blush on his cheek, "You are beautiful my love" he said before getting up and getting rid of his garments as well so that he was as naked as his lover. Carlisle claimed Edward's lips again as he ran his hands carefully and slowly along the sides of Edward's body.

Edward felt tingles and little sparks of electricity at the places Carlisle touched his body and moaned loudly as he felt Carlisle's cold tongue flicking past his nipples. He bucked his hips up to Carlisle's and he heard his lover groan as their erections rubbed against each other.

Carlisle grabbed Edward's hard member in one of his hands and started pumping him as he heard the moans of his lover beneath him. The sounds of his lover in the throes of passion were sweeter than any music he had ever heard and he pulled his other finger away from where he was tugging Edward's hair and put it into his mouth coating it with his venom. Carlisle then looked up and saw Edward whose head was thrown back as Carlisle continued his ministrations on Edward's hard member.

Edward felt Carlisle's fingers grace a place in his body no one had ever touched and gasped at the sensations of the cold finger against his puckering hole and Carlisle's hand pumping him mercilessly. Any doubts he had flew out of the window as he lost himself in the sensation thinking that dying in the arms of his lover would be just the way he wanted it to be. He felt Carlisle's finger entering him and tears sprang in his eyes from the pain but he forced himself to relax his muscles as Carlisle started moving his finger in and out of his entrance. Soon he felt a second finger enter him and scissor his opening wider, suddenly Carlisle hooked his fingers up and touched a spot deep inside that made him scream out Carlisle's name despite the ache in his throat. He threw his head back as Carlisle kept on hitting the same spot making him see stars and he barely felt it when a third finger entered him. Carlisle continued pushing his fingers in and out of him and he could take it no more and he tugged at Carlisle's hair getting his lover to look at him. With desperation in his eyes he said "Please Carlisle, I need you in me"

Carlisle lost the precarious control he had and dipped his head into Edward's neck sucking and licking at the pulse point as Edward's blood called to him and nearly two centuries of restraint meant nothing at all at the moment. He drew himself away for a minute and coated himself with venom before pulling out his fingers from Edward's entrance. He put two hands on Edward's burning hips carefully so as to not break them and resumed sucking on Edward's neck as he aligned himself and pushed the tip of his cock into Edward's tight and hot entrance. He grunted at the sensation of the searing hot flesh clenching around him and pushed fluidly all the way in and stopped as he looked up at Edward giving him time to adjust to the intrusion. Edward nodded his head and Carlisle took that as a permission to move as he moved back and forth gently at first and when he heard Edward gasp and moan he began to thrust harder and he took away one of his hands and grabbed Edward's member again as he started pumping them in rhythm with his thrusts.

Edward felt a burning pressure in his stomach and thought that he would die of pleasure right here and now and he wouldn't have a care in the world. He felt Carlisle's tongue licking his neck and observed his lover watching him with guarded eyes but only Carlisle's eyes were a smoldering black but looked just as beautiful nonetheless.

Finally with one hard thrust into Edward's tight muscles Carlisle came and Edward followed as he plummeted into orgasm and Carlisle bit into his neck taking a gulp of the sweet ambrosia of human blood for the first time. He took three gulps of the divine blood before injecting his venom into Edward's blood stream and Edward came out his high and looked questioningly at Carlisle.

Carlisle wiped the blood away from his lips before looking up at Edward and saying "Forgive me for condemning you to this life Edward"

For three days Carlisle sat with Edward hearing his lovers screams but not once did Edward ask him to end his agony once Carlisle explained what was going on, on the third day Edward woke up and Carlisle cupped Edward's cheek in his hands as Edward said "You did save me, it's not a dream"

Carlisle smiled and said "No Edward, you will always be my eternal love" and Edward smiled as both lovers shared another passionate rendezvous.

**ONESHOT, unless you people want it to be a multi chapter fic….**

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